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I wanted to share the raw me. I have nothing to hide in this life. I want to create the truth of self. This is my rebirth. 

What have I gained from this process? 

CONFIDENCE in my creativity. Confidence in my mission and my own destiny. I know I have worked hard and have so much more to do, but the fact that I am creating makes the dreams that much more achievable. I have learned more about my anxiety and my unknown narrative that has emerge within. One I am unsure of but one I am willing to figure out. That is what this whole process is about. 

 

CONFIDENCE in my LEADERSHIP. I want to be the greatest leader I can be to myself first and foremost. That is what matters to me. For me, in order to achieve that, I have to trial and error leadership with humans so that I can grow and evolve. I am proud to say I have done that. I have a long way to go, but a way I am willing to travel. 

 

Enjoy our expression and our take on the conversation about suicide, mental and emotional health. 

**We are not medical professionals.

If you need immediate assistance call 911.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:1- 800-273-8255

Please share and visit these links for more information on Suicide Prevention.

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

https://suicidology.org/resources/nspw/

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/dat...

This project was completed in collaboration with the following:

Licencing by Musicbed.com

Creative Director - Adela Hittell - https://www.phinc-ing.org/

Cinematographer - William P Cook - https://www.instagram.com/williamphil...

Assistant Director - Nicole Labadie - https://www.instagram.com/nicolelabad...

Original Music by Natasha Blume - https://www.instagram.com/natashablume/

 

My name is Adela Hittell and I have a story to tell.

TRIGGER WARNING - Rebirth and hope after attempted suicide. Parental advisory suggested on the topics that it implies to mental and emotional health. 

I am sharing because it is National suicide prevention month and if I can share with you my one moment that almost ended my existence and you can find some hope that it doesn't have to, then I live for the purpose I survived for.

 

My story is no different than yours, except that I have truly found my way... most of the time in my life. Not everyday is rainbows and sunshine but I've changed my narrative to be that as often as I can. I have survived a genocide, abusive home, eating disorders, depression and multiple suicide attempts.

Five years ago I was forced me to make a choice in life. It was my last and final try to ending the existence and it my REBIRTH.

I WANTED to live. That meant dealing with everything. My past, which I have no mental memory of, only physical and emotional. Of my present, the damaged goods I felt, and of my future, the power and confidence I wanted to posses. In 2017, I had a vision and I had to make it happen. After I changed my narrative, meaning I changed what, who, where and why, I listened, watched, followed or lead. There was one human who clicked something for me. They asked themselves at 30 what do I want? At 29 I asked myself that, and I saw it. I saw Project H. I had no idea what it would be or mean, but I sketched it out, wrote it out and planned it... In 2 hours. And on my 30th I wanted to gift myself the gift of breath.

I was done surviving.

I wanted to live.

I gifted myself my own non profit for mental and emotional health called Project Human Inc. -PHInc., a new way to think about mental health. I am living. I am living beautifully. I struggle with myself still daily as that will be a lifetime fight. Here is what I have learned. I am not broken. No one is. You cannot break light. If we are born in the light and are made in the images of our creators (whatever they may be) then you my dear are not broken because you cannot break light. You can shadow it and you can shadow it until it's so dark that it seems impossible to see. The light is there. You. I realized my breath mattered to my son. It had to matter to me. I had to matter to me. I am reclaiming all I've lost.

Life is about the learning of one self and our actions and reactions which in turn cause the social and universal reaction. Because of that, your breath matters more than you will ever know in your lifetime.

I found my purpose and that is to create. Whatever that is, however that is. Anything that is done is a creation. Something as simple as washing the dishes or laundry and being aware of every actions and reaction of that moment. I want to leave you with this.

You matter. Write your accomplishments of the day down for one week. ALL ACCOMPLISHMENTS. No matter how big or small. You did it. You will see how much you are already doing. The key thing I learned was that mental and emotional health requires investment in to the human mind with time to allow that human to process at their own space and time themselves. I took that time and invested in me when no one else wanted.

You matter. Your existence matters. Share kind words and encourage others. This helped me so much in days where I was the lowest. I thrive in the existence of another human.

Their breath is happiness to me and that is the deepest truth of me. Today, I get to proudly talk about this and share this with you guys. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I hope you truly find some hope and light for your dark roads.

Remember this...

You are a voice for someone who can't hear, see, speak, feel, or touch. You have the ability to awaken the consciousness of another human.

Thank you. -AH 

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© 2019 by Adela Hittell 

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